Land Of Hope & Heathens!

A BBC survey for the 'What the world thinks of God' debate, has shown us Brit's up to be the bunch of heathens we really are...

When asked whether we believed in God, only 67% of us returned an affirmative; the lowest of the ten countries polled. When it comes to saying our prayers, well, the faith of the nation appears to be on its knee's (or not, as the case may be), with only 28% of us chatting to the big man with any regularity.

The factor I find most surprising, is the sizeable divide between Britain and the US. Apparently, over 90% of Americans maintain a belief, with almost 70% indulging in frequent prayer; double that of the UK. Politically, demographically and culturally, we're pretty much spooning partners so, why the difference in our religious beliefs? Personally, I think it's all down to the marketing. The snippets of American, evangelistic extravaganzas we're occasionally blessed with, portray larger than life characters brimming with power, presence and profit popularity. A million miles from the low budget, off peak, comfy sofa chit-chats that seem to be the preference of the UK God squad. In a nutshell, our ministerial marketing moguls simply lack the pulling power!

Mind you, I'm not complaining. A five minute scour around Google News always reconfirms that religion is for the other folk:

A selection from today's 'Facts About Faith':

HOT OFF THE PRESS!

It seems that the Taliban are on the way back, with their 'special' brand of recruitment techniques:

"A convoy of about 20 Honda motorcycles surrounds a house, looking for people who support the United States or President Hamid Karzai. If they find one, they kill him. If not, the householders are beaten to serve as a warning to others."

The "love thy neighbour" trends ensue in Israel as:

"the flesh and the bones were collected from the bus and the street and delivered to Israel's lone forensic center. As always, Dr. Jehuda Hiss, the director, carried out his grim duty of piecing together the broken bodies and tending to the raw emotions of the living."

And the perceived integrity of Catholicism continues to escalate as we hear that:

"over the previous half century in all 4,392 US priests had been accused of sexual abuse."

To save you opening your calculator, that's an average of nearly two a week, every week, for fifty years!

Topping the 'I'm a believer' poll with an almost full-house, was Nigeria. Quite understandable, I suppose. When it comes to needing prayers answered, they deserve to be out there in front. After all:

"There is no backbone, there are not basic things like electricity and good roads. What good is a government if it cannot provide those sort of things?"

Maybe they've been hampered by the fact that:

"No less than $200 billion (about N27 trillion) was lost to corrupt practices in the country between 1970 and 1993 when oil emerged as a dominant source of foreign exchange."

Religion eh?... The key to peace, tranquility and global harmony!

Whitehall, White House, Whitewash!

"A GCHQ translator sacked for revealing a secret e-mail has been cleared of a charge under the Official Secrets Act.

Katharine Gun, 29, from Cheltenham, claimed the e-mail was from US spies asking British officers to tap phones of nations voting on war against Iraq."

Full story

The reasons for the prosecution dropping the charges have not been made public. Ultimately, it is the attorney general that decides whether cases involving the official secrets act are brought to trial. In this case, the defence lawyers were planning to question the legalities of the war with Iraq. As a consequence, the attorney general himself could well have been called to give evidence. Evidence likely to cause embarrassment to both the US and UK governments!

What a total sham!

I am delighted that Katharine Gun has been cleared of all charges. However, it would have been far more satisfying if the acquittal had come at the end of a full and fair hearing.

Prior to this, we've had our intelligence blatantly insulted by the Hutton inquiry into the Dr David Kelly affair. Then, as referred to in a previos post, we've seen the war crimes levelled at Saddam Hussein be carefully manipulated to avoid any political 'uncomfortableness' or international finger pointing.

It would appear that the the UK and US governments will go to any lengths to prevent the legalities of the war being aired in any public forum.

I wonder why?

Man The Creator

Here we have the latest in human cloning.

Here we see the final cut in the fight for transsexual equality as, a one time male, enters China's Miss Universe qualifier.

And, here we have human eggs being legitimately traded over the internet.

It would appear that man has now, unequivocally, assumed the role of God. Or whoever your, particular, director of creation may be.

The arrogance of our species never ceases to amaze me.

Ta-Ta Tuck Shop

My nine year old daughter told me this evening that her school tuck-shop is to close: The powers that be consider the product range to be of dubious nutritional value. Consequently, it is now labelled unfit for scholar consumption!

The offending outlet is a fold down table, purveying the usual range of penny chews and other kiddy delights. The shop opens for fifteen minutes on a Friday afternoon, signifying the end of a week long battle with fractions, long division and joined up writing. Just as it did when I attended the same school, thirty odd years ago.

A tradition stretching back over several generations is to be flippantly cast aside because... some self-righteous ass has deemed it inappropriate for kids to eat sweets!

Another ridiculous episode of social wetnursing.

Whatever happened to freedom of choice?

Kit Kat Korma

"Sales of Kit Kat, Britain's most popular chocolate bar, have plummeted so far that the manufacturer is contemplating lemon cheesecake, liquorice and even curry flavoured versions." Full Story

I know that I struggle to embrace many styles and tastes of the modern cosmos but, is curry tainted confectionery really the way of the future? Are we to see Biryani Bountys, Mars Masalas and Rogan Josh Rolos adorning the shelves of our beloved corner shops? If it catches on, restaurateurs may reverse the principle, thereby affording us the chance of popping down the 'Taj Mahal' for a double choc chicken madrass, followed by banoffee bhajis..... with choc 'n' chutney sauce. Of course!

Apparently, this is the brainchild of the new Nestle Rowntree MD, Chris White, who claims that the company is "a business in crisis"; last years sales only reached a miserable £95.2 million. Oh, and by the way, that was for the Kit Kat bar alone!

If I were him, I wouldn't be messing around with tastes; do they count for anything nowadays? I'd be striking a profit-share deal with Nike. As soon as the Pied Piper tick appeared on the wrappers they could; triple the price, half the size and watch 'em fly. No matter what the f*****s tasted like!

n.b. That's 'fingers', by the way.

Mortified Or What?

Is this becoming a craze?

I read these articles back to back on the Ananova site...

The first story depicts two brothers sharing a mobile home. For eighteen months, one conduted life as normal whilst the other lay decomposing in the spare room! The cognizant sibling, apparently, hadn't realised his big brother had slipped off his mortal coil. Didn't they have bills to share? All the extra air-freshener, rat poison and fly spray must have come to a tidy sum!
It then says that the police have ruled out suspicious circumstances. Well, why not? It all sounds completely run of the mill to me?

The other article tells of a wife sleeping with her dead hubby for nearly two years, because she couldn't bear to part with him... She either had a cast iron constitution with multiple sensory impairments, or she went here for a crash course!

In Recognition Of 'That' Word...

...Y'know, the one that rhymes with punt, and shunt!

One of today's tea-break talk-abouts will, undoubtedly, be John Lydon's expletive explosion on last nights "I'm a sleb, get me out of here".

"Shock, horror, run for the ear syringe.... he used the 'C' word!!!"

How has that word managed to remain so offensively unacceptable for so long? It's only a word; one, tiny, inoffensive syllable, four perfectly clean living letters!

During my schooldays, the words that rhyme with 'buck', 'sucked' and 'chucking' were subjected to equal discrimination. Come to that, so were those that sound like 'yank(er)(ing)', 'rowlocks' and 'mastered'. However, as attitudes have immatured, they have, one by one, lost their shock status and been recognised as acceptable profanities; suitable for the ears of the nation. In fact, the very program in question has aired countless 'buck/sucked/chucking' soundalikes during it's week of jungle japes and jollities.

So, why does a simple mutation of runt, cause such uproar and scandal? There's no other word, and never likely to be one, that commands such a public reaction. There's no other word, and never likely to be one, that registers so clearly with it's recipient. There's no other word, and never likely to be one, that forces media bosses to issue public apologies.

All these years on, and that word still does what it set out to do.

You have to take your hat off to it, don't you?

A Step Along The Road To Acceptance?

A change in British drug laws this week resulted in the reclassification of cannabis from a class 'B' drug to a class 'C'...

Although it is still illegal to possess the drug, no matter how small the quantity, new guidelines dictate that it will no longer be commonplace for the police to arrest anyone caught in possession; so long as it can be assumed that it's only 'personal', and that it's not being smoked in public or around children. It will now be considered the norm for an, on-the-spot, informal caution to be issued and the greenery be confiscated.
Hmm... methinks there maybe a few of our friendly law enforcers saving a bob or two from now on ;-).

To all intents and purposes though, has anything really changed? I've subscribed to the comfortably numb fraternity for the best part of thirty years. I've never known the DS to come-a-knockin' for someone in possession of a quarter of rocky and a ripped up rizla pack!

Well, the answer is, things have changed. At the same time as reclassifying weed to a class 'C' substance, the government, in it's infinite wisdom, has increased the penalty for dealing in class 'C' substances from 5 to 14 years, the same as for dealing in class 'A' drugs. A nonsense if ever I heard one! That kind of penalty will deter the small-time pot purveyors from knockin' out the odd bit of green and, consequently, drive the supply chain into the hands of the big boys. The same big boys that are already hellbent on introducing our impressionable kids to far more lucrative, addictive and, potentially fatal, recreational accessories.

Then we have Hard Hitter Howard, spouting off about how absurd it all is, and how it will be a priority to reclassify it back to class 'B' on the Tories rise to power... Wise up Micky, it's here to stay and it's used by a staggering amount of the public, from all sorts of social back drops. I despair. The powers that are supposed to voice public opinion are, once again, doing a foxtrot to the beat of a waltz!

Surely, the best way of dealing with cannabis would be to decriminalise it completely and regulate it's supply. That way, it will be disassociated from the hard drugs trade, thereby keeping our inquisitive kids a helluvalot safer. It would also free-up the manpower and money that's currently being wasted on policing such a widespread and, pretty much, socially accepted pastime. I'm sure it could be better utilised elsewhere.

Leave us smokers in peace to count the woodchips in the wallpaper.... go sort out some real social issues!

Strange Statistics

I was reading this article with a great deal of interest. I'm a firm believer that technology and, in particular, the internet should be accessible to all, and that the socially disadvantaged should recieve assistance to maintain a basic home PC with internet access. I am sure that my children would be at a distinct disadvantage in today's society if they grew up to be computer-illiterate. It's a shame that that's the case but, let's face it, it's a major part of life nowadays and will become more so as the future unfolds.

"A study published by the GLA in November 2003 found that nearly 90 percent of London families with children and an annual household income of £52,000 or more have the Internet at home, compared to just 20 percent of married couples with an income of below £10,444. "

So I was reading along, empathising with the need for action. Then, I actually realised what the figures said and, to be honest, I found them a little incredulous. The article claims that only 20% of married couples earning less than £10,444 have internet access. The figures were established from a GLA study which were published in November 2003. That's a joint income of less than £200.85 per week? Who are these people? There can't be that many of them, especially in London. Unless I'm sadly disillusioned, and please bring it to my attention if I am, social security payments alone for a married couple would exceed this.

Where do these statistics come from and how are they compiled?