Napoleon Blownapart

Ra Ra Rasputin's, pickled penis pulls them in...

[guitar chords]

Or so the curators will be hoping when Rasputin's ramrod goes on display at the St Petersburg museum of erotica:

Russia's first museum of erotica is to open in St Petersburg - with Rasputin's penis reputedly among the exhibits.

Museum founder Igor Knyazkin says the 12ins organ will be the star attraction, reports Russian daily Nezavisimaya Gazeta.

Mr Knyazkin, who is also the chief of the prostate research centre of the Russian Academy of Natural Sciences, said he was particularly proud of the pickled penis.

He said: "Having this exhibit, we can stop envying America, where Napoleon Bonaparte's penis is now kept.

"Napoleon's penis is but a small pod - it cannot stand comparison to our organ of 30 centimetres."

The gossips said that the mad monk had seduced the Empress. Quite plausible, I suppose. After all, why would she object to being shagged by the ruler!