Kit Kat Korma

"Sales of Kit Kat, Britain's most popular chocolate bar, have plummeted so far that the manufacturer is contemplating lemon cheesecake, liquorice and even curry flavoured versions." Full Story

I know that I struggle to embrace many styles and tastes of the modern cosmos but, is curry tainted confectionery really the way of the future? Are we to see Biryani Bountys, Mars Masalas and Rogan Josh Rolos adorning the shelves of our beloved corner shops? If it catches on, restaurateurs may reverse the principle, thereby affording us the chance of popping down the 'Taj Mahal' for a double choc chicken madrass, followed by banoffee bhajis..... with choc 'n' chutney sauce. Of course!

Apparently, this is the brainchild of the new Nestle Rowntree MD, Chris White, who claims that the company is "a business in crisis"; last years sales only reached a miserable £95.2 million. Oh, and by the way, that was for the Kit Kat bar alone!

If I were him, I wouldn't be messing around with tastes; do they count for anything nowadays? I'd be striking a profit-share deal with Nike. As soon as the Pied Piper tick appeared on the wrappers they could; triple the price, half the size and watch 'em fly. No matter what the f*****s tasted like!

n.b. That's 'fingers', by the way.